Grief Doesn’t Care About Time
Grief has a tender, quiet way of sneaking up on you—often when you least expect it. One moment you’re running errands, and the next, your heart is caught in a memory.
Not long ago, I was walking through Kohl’s, passing the housewares aisle, when I saw a frying pan just like the one I bought my mother for Christmas years ago. Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes. Right there, in the middle of a normal shopping trip, the grief came rushing back—uninvited, but not unwelcome.
Grief Doesn’t Care About Time
That’s the thing about grief—it doesn’t care how much time has passed. You could be folding laundry, laughing with friends, or scrolling through your phone when a photo, a scent, or even a piece of cookware unlocks a door to your heart you thought had long been closed.
And just like that, the heaviness returns.
The ache in your chest.
The sting of tears.
The reminder that someone you loved deeply is no longer here.
Even years after loss, grief after death can resurface with surprising intensity. It doesn’t move in a straight line. It’s not something you “get over.”
What to Do When Grief Shows Up Unexpectedly
So what do you do when those unexpected waves of grief crash in?
You pause.
You breathe.
You let it come.
You remind yourself that these feelings don’t mean you’re broken. They don’t mean you haven’t “healed.” What they mean is simple: you loved someone deeply. And that love is still alive inside you.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is:
Let the wave pass through.
Talk to someone who understands.
Write a letter to the person you lost.
Light a candle.
Go for a quiet walk.
Be gentle with yourself.
You’re Not Back at Square One
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. There’s no expiration date on missing someone. These moments of sudden grief are not setbacks—they’re reflections of the bond you had, and still have, with the one who’s gone.
Yes, it was awkward to be crying in the middle of Kohl’s. But I let the tears come anyway. Because they meant something.